A subject that used to get a lot of high eyebrows and something that not many were comfortable speaking about- Mental Health and Well-being.
We are so deeply engrossed in our lives that we often forget to check upon our basic necessity- Our Own Well-being.
It is mental health week and it is probably time to start asking ourselves the right questions and owning up to our own thoughts. It is probably time to pay a little attention to what our mind is going through…
A homemaker with a perfectly poised exterior and a great personality is often mistaken to have everything she ever wanted. A perfect husband, a perfect life, not too much to worry and kids who are a delight to be around with. No one, for once, thinks about the anxiety she goes through to keep up to that poised exterior and a perfectly benevolent life.
She is said to be the nurturer and giver of the family that she so dearly tends to, but we often forget to acknowledge the work that she puts in everyday, without being paid or without being thanked in many ways.
But there comes a point in her life that she has given so much that there is nothing more to give. She has pretended so hard that there is nothing more to show. She has been a person to lean on for everyone for so long that she is probably tired of that pedestal.
An ambitious woman who has taken the corporate world by storm is probably sitting somewhere lonely in her head, not knowing whether this is what she wants. She has a seemingly great life, with a great job, a damn cool position in the company, a hefty salary package to take care of her luxuries and probably an amazingly supportive family (including kids and hubby and the works) to back her.
Yet there is a string of loneliness that is seen hidden behind all the charisma and ambition. Not once do her family or friends actually ask her ‘are you doing alright?’ ‘are you really happy?’ ‘I hope you are doing fine’.
Just because she chooses not to show her vulnerability, does not mean she is not. She could probably be sitting right next to you, yet lost in her own realm of thoughts. She could be as anxious as anxious could be and not know it or show it.
An amazingly charismatic guy who has everything he needs; right from a family to money and everything in between. He is the kind of person you could count on during times of happiness and duress. He is that anchor to the sinking ship that may have rocked somebody during their life.
But what if his ship is slowly sinking and no one ever stopped to notice. What if he had a thousand emotions hidden deep inside and no one once asked him ‘hey man, are you doing alright?’
He was taught to not emote as it will show his weakness and he grew up seeing people around him do the same thing. He may not have consciously acted upon his emotions, but he started hiding facts from himself, that only he could understand. He was probably given a hug by his parents or his wife or girlfriend and told ‘you are a strong person’ ‘you can handle anything’.
But for once, probably, that is not what he wanted to hear. He simply wanted to hear ‘it is okay to not know everything and it is okay to not handle everything alone’ ‘we are here for you’ ‘you will not be alone’ ‘it is okay to not be a strong person and just be yourself’ ‘it is okay to stop lying to yourself’.
I am alone in a crowded room full of people I love and who love me back.Ankita Ahuja (Original)
Mental Health has always been a precariously handled topic for centuries now. Although we have evolved with time and technology has taken a precedence over our lives, we have simply learnt to fool ourselves along the way.
Yes Mental Health is real and it is here to stay.
We have lost touch with ourselves and forgotten to tell us ‘It is Okay to be Me’. Our levels of expectations and expectations from others is nothing but a bottomless pit of illusions and forced decisions.
What can we do about it?
Learn to accept it.
Listen to yourself
It is not everyday that you get to introspect and have a conversation with yourself. But probably it is important to do everyday. Mental well-being is the most underrated topic of discussion and everyone seems fine to runaway from it.
But just sit down, listen to your thoughts, hear yourself, talk to yourself and journal about yourself to get a closer look at what may be bothering you or that missing piece of the puzzle called ‘YOU’.
We have started becoming so private in our life that we prefer to not face the elephant in the room. It may just be standing in front of us and staring at us with its white long trunk, but we choose to ignore its presence.
Let’s take the bull by its horns (or in this case your mind by its presence) and learn to talk to your confidante. It can be anybody you want it to be. It may or may not be your best friend or even your parent or even your partner. It may be someone you just met and instantly knew you could relate with them.
Confide in your confidante and speak about your feelings loudly so that you can start addressing the first problem- Speaking about the problem itself.
Seek Professional Help If Needed
My observation with most people around me has been that they very mention of a ‘therapist’ or ‘professional psychologist’ sends them into a frenzy and gives them the jitters.
It is never too late to address the fact that you may not be feeling right. You may not know that you have anxiety or stress or are slowly sinking into depression, but then you always have the signs staring right at you, all the time.
You may be suffering from postpartum depression (which is very common in first time mothers) and you may not know what is happening to you.
Any feeling of indifference to yourself or your thoughts needs to be addressed and it is always better to seek professional help than to delay the process of ‘Self-Healing’.
It is not the easiest of things to do, especially in today’s tumultuous time and age, but it is important to let go every once in a while. It is OKAY just do things the way you want to and not bow down to societal pressure or even your own set standard of pressure.
It is OKAY to not be available to anyone but yourself and not feel guilty about it. It is OKAY to indulge in what you want to do and not what everyone expects you to do. It OKAY and More that OKAY to just be YOURSELF.
Let Just Start By Saying ‘I Am Here For You’.
Mental Health and Well-being is extremely important for both men and women. Any sign of mental anxiety should not be ignored and if you feel that there is something wrong, please open your heart and say it loud ‘I Need Help’.
We cannot be there for everyone all the time and we cannot be there for everything all the time. But we sure can take our Mental well-being into our own hands and get a chance to lead a happy life.
We all need to talk. And We need to do it Now.
I hide my fears behind my tears. I put on a happy face because the show must go on. But I am the only one who knows what is happening within.
I Need Someone to Help Me Get Through This.Ankita Ahuja (original)
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