Mental Health Is Real And Here To Stay

A subject that used to get a lot of high eyebrows and something that not many were comfortable speaking about- Mental Health and Well-being.

We are so deeply engrossed in our lives that we often forget to check upon our basic necessity- Our Own Well-being.

It is mental health week and it is probably time to start asking ourselves the right questions and owning up to our own thoughts. It is probably time to pay a little attention to what our mind is going through…

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Twins within

A homemaker with a perfectly poised exterior and a great personality is often mistaken to have everything she ever wanted. A perfect husband, a perfect life, not too much to worry and kids who are a delight to be around with. No one, for once, thinks about the anxiety she goes through to keep up to that poised exterior and a perfectly benevolent life.

She is said to be the nurturer and giver of the family that she so dearly tends to, but we often forget to acknowledge the work that she puts in everyday, without being paid or without being thanked in many ways.

But there comes a point in her life that she has given so much that there is nothing more to give. She has pretended so hard that there is nothing more to show. She has been a person to lean on for everyone for so long that she is probably tired of that pedestal.

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An ambitious woman who has taken the corporate world by storm is probably sitting somewhere lonely in her head, not knowing whether this is what she wants. She has a seemingly great life, with a great job, a damn cool position in the company, a hefty salary package to take care of her luxuries and probably an amazingly supportive family (including kids and hubby and the works) to back her.

Yet there is a string of loneliness that is seen hidden behind all the charisma and ambition. Not once do her family or friends actually ask her ‘are you doing alright?’ ‘are you really happy?’ ‘I hope you are doing fine’.

Just because she chooses not to show her vulnerability, does not mean she is not. She could probably be sitting right next to you, yet lost in her own realm of thoughts. She could be as anxious as anxious could be and not know it or show it.

The eternal battle…

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An amazingly charismatic guy who has everything he needs; right from a family to money and everything in between. He is the kind of person you could count on during times of happiness and duress. He is that anchor to the sinking ship that may have rocked somebody during their life.

But what if his ship is slowly sinking and no one ever stopped to notice. What if he had a thousand emotions hidden deep inside and no one once asked him ‘hey man, are you doing alright?’

He was taught to not emote as it will show his weakness and he grew up seeing people around him do the same thing. He may not have consciously acted upon his emotions, but he started hiding facts from himself, that only he could understand. He was probably given a hug by his parents or his wife or girlfriend and told ‘you are a strong person’ ‘you can handle anything’.

But for once, probably, that is not what he wanted to hear. He simply wanted to hear ‘it is okay to not know everything and it is okay to not handle everything alone’ ‘we are here for you’ ‘you will not be alone’ ‘it is okay to not be a strong person and just be yourself’ ‘it is okay to stop lying to yourself’.

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They may never show it …

I am alone in a crowded room full of people I love and who love me back.

Ankita Ahuja (Original)

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Mental Health has always been a precariously handled topic for centuries now. Although we have evolved with time and technology has taken a precedence over our lives, we have simply learnt to fool ourselves along the way.

Yes Mental Health is real and it is here to stay.

We have lost touch with ourselves and forgotten to tell us ‘It is Okay to be Me’. Our levels of expectations and expectations from others is nothing but a bottomless pit of illusions and forced decisions.

What can we do about it?

Learn to accept it.

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Listen to yourself

It is not everyday that you get to introspect and have a conversation with yourself. But probably it is important to do everyday. Mental well-being is the most underrated topic of discussion and everyone seems fine to runaway from it.

But just sit down, listen to your thoughts, hear yourself, talk to yourself and journal about yourself to get a closer look at what may be bothering you or that missing piece of the puzzle called ‘YOU’.

Confidante

We have started becoming so private in our life that we prefer to not face the elephant in the room. It may just be standing in front of us and staring at us with its white long trunk, but we choose to ignore its presence.

Let’s take the bull by its horns (or in this case your mind by its presence) and learn to talk to your confidante. It can be anybody you want it to be. It may or may not be your best friend or even your parent or even your partner. It may be someone you just met and instantly knew you could relate with them.

Confide in your confidante and speak about your feelings loudly so that you can start addressing the first problem- Speaking about the problem itself.

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Seek Professional Help If Needed

My observation with most people around me has been that they very mention of a ‘therapist’ or ‘professional psychologist’ sends them into a frenzy and gives them the jitters.

It is never too late to address the fact that you may not be feeling right. You may not know that you have anxiety or stress or are slowly sinking into depression, but then you always have the signs staring right at you, all the time.

You may be suffering from postpartum depression (which is very common in first time mothers) and you may not know what is happening to you.

Any feeling of indifference to yourself or your thoughts needs to be addressed and it is always better to seek professional help than to delay the process of ‘Self-Healing’.

Let Go

It is not the easiest of things to do, especially in today’s tumultuous time and age, but it is important to let go every once in a while. It is OKAY just do things the way you want to and not bow down to societal pressure or even your own set standard of pressure.

It is OKAY to not be available to anyone but yourself and not feel guilty about it. It is OKAY to indulge in what you want to do and not what everyone expects you to do. It OKAY and More that OKAY to just be YOURSELF.

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Let Just Start By Saying ‘I Am Here For You’.

Mental Health and Well-being is extremely important for both men and women. Any sign of mental anxiety should not be ignored and if you feel that there is something wrong, please open your heart and say it loud ‘I Need Help’.

We cannot be there for everyone all the time and we cannot be there for everything all the time. But we sure can take our Mental well-being into our own hands and get a chance to lead a happy life.

We all need to talk. And We need to do it Now.

I hide my fears behind my tears. I put on a happy face because the show must go on. But I am the only one who knows what is happening within.

I Need Someone to Help Me Get Through This.

Ankita Ahuja (original)

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A Mother’s Run Down on E-Classes During This Dreadful Lock-down.

Nothing is permanent, everything has to change and evolve. We have been evolving and will continue to do so. Change is the only constant reality in our life.

– Ankita Ahuja (Original)

When the dreaded lock-down began in March, there was a lot of speculation around the future of education. While all things were running awry through lack of clarity from any party (government or non-government) there were a few of us (MOMs) who were mostly wondering how will the kids get their education? Where will they study? How will they study? What is the next step?

And lo behold! The solution of holding extensive e-classes came in light.

While the parents cribbed and puckered around the idea of having such classes, the kids had absolutely no clue what was going on. All they understood was, ‘you have to get up early in the morning and attend your classes for 3 hours everyday.’

While everything said and done, the kids couldn’t have been more excited to attend e-classes. And why not! They just needed to brush their teeth, sit in their PJs in front of the laptop or mobile, and their classes are on!

Wow! What a dream.

No uniforms.
No waking up to catch the bus.
No Tension for the kids (as per them) at all.

While the parents did wonder whether this would actually be feasible and would it work? The schools ensured that there was a certain coordination from every person in their school team.

From moms who are teachers to the IT staff who are moms, and moms who are moms to their kids at home, and in general all the moms everywhere ๐Ÿ˜

While I do lay emphasis on the ‘Moms’ of the world, I honestly do not want to miss out on the fathers as well ( ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) … {But that’s a story that can be churned out some other time ๐Ÿคช}

Get in line

While the world sleeps every morning, moms still wake up early in the morning to get their house chores done before the household awakes. She is trying to get her house in order, before the e-classes begin, so that she can be around when her kids need her.

So please get in line and stop judging if she does not have a spic house.

CW + HW

The definition of Classwork and Homework suddenly underwent a change. While the classes lasted for about 3 hours, the kids and moms, were putting in more effort to get the books completed on time. Moms were not only getting their classwork completed with proper sections, indexes, cover pages and definitions, but also trying to understand where the homework was being uploaded and how it was being done.

It took a while to get in line, but yea I guess moms did a swell job and did manage to swoop in to get it alright. Somehow I think the kids got a little smarter and simply passed on the baton to us moms by silently telling us – ‘Go Figure’ . ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Teachers Woes

Why do I mention teachers?

Duh! Teachers are moms too! And I think none of them ever had the most pleasant time teaching online.

While we were cribbing about connectivity and the course going too fast or the work to be completed is simply too much, the teachers were slogging their rear side to just get the entire course and curriculum in place.

With innovative and interactive slides and presentations to ensuring that children participate in the discussions to maintaining a decorum teaching kids online and constantly being patient (Patience! Yes a Very Big Uncontrollable White Elephant in the Room), these teachers have absolutely been a stellar support to every school.

We may not always appreciate the efforts that these ‘Moms who are Teachers‘ put in, but they have a tough nut to crack when it comes to managing their household and their kids studies and successfully running online classes everyday. ๐Ÿฆนโ€โ™€๏ธ “Cape of Faith”

The Kids Father

While there may be many or a few who are equal contributors in the house, not every household goes through this or gets this privilege. While moms are struggling to get their children to just ‘sit and concentrate’ on their e-classes without playing mobile games, the fathers of these kids can conveniently say ‘we do not want to interfere in your method of teaching’ and they simply back-off. ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€โš–๏ธ

Oh please! Grow up and check the damn connection at least. Or is that also the ‘moms‘ responsibility alone. So if you can get your office work done, the least you could do is contribute by checking upon the kids if they need help in anyway or if they are facing a problem, while the moms get some work done around the house. Duh!!๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ

Of Webinars and Competitions

Now if you thought there was anything missing from these e-classes, you were so wrong. The schools also covered up the rest of the time with some or the other webinar or competition, just to keep the kids “Engaged” .

Oh come on! Like really! Do they need to truly so engaged?

At the end of the day, We moms often end up forgetting what we were actually supposed to get done- Classwork or Homework or prepare for an ‘Online competition’. (enlighten us please ๐Ÿค”)

Despite of all the long reminders on whiteboards and charts and timetables, we still forget where to begin and where to end.

The end is never really there… It is a prolonged misconception of the beginning.

-Ankita Ahuja (Original)

Last but not the least ... Not in the very least...

Cook Cook Cook

All moms everywhere are turning into home bakers on a show in Zumbo’s Desserts‘ or Masterchefs part of of a critical opinion from Vikas Khanna on Masterchef India-2 ๐Ÿคจ, but in this case, the dreaded husband, in-law or kid. ๐Ÿง

So while the e-classes are meant to make her kid all intelligent and tech-savvy (which they are in their own ways), she is really trying to make the most of the time she can get to understand the work that needs to be completed.

While we Moms really try to figure what this Lock-down 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 and 4.0 has done for us, well we can only say one thing-

There is a bleak light at the end of the tunnel before we actually pass out ๐Ÿ™„