Round and Proud!!!

During my growing up years I have been called very kiddish and interesting names like Moti, Fatso, Big Butt, etc.. etc.. etc… Well I got used to these names eventually, but there was always something that pinched me over a period of time… It was the fact that People around me had difficulty accepting that I am Fat or Heavy or simply Round!!!! If THIN is a Shape then so is ROUND!!! Accept it and Move on…

With this little personal experience I am trying to address a much bigger issue at hand. We all have been brought up with a lot of love and affection from our parents and near ones. We have been taught that everybody is equal and everyone is the same, however, it does not hold true in any sense! We have been name calling people who are over-weight and have been subjecting them to various levels of depression. It is not the fact that we are over-weight that defines our Very Being, but the fact that people often get to the ones who cannot emotionally handle it. I have seen many people wanting to lose weight just because SOMEONE else wants them to! Shucks that Sucks! Often times we come across people going through stringent diet schedules to achieve their desired weight on the WEIGHING SCALE, but once you leave that, you are Back to Square One. Please do not do this and cause more damage to your body.

If you remember some years back there was a revolutionary product called Herbalife that was launched for all those obese and fat souls out there… Well, no harm meant to the product or to its image, but it helped a lot of people and also caused a lot of hormonal damage to some. It worked well for a couple of years and then fizzled out (or I believe it did, but if it still does exist I do not know) Every person I know wanted to try this amazing weight loss product that worked like a miracle! But once you left it, well you know what happened… The point I am trying to drive here is that Fat people do not become FAT by will, there are a lot of hormonal problems or metabolism problems that we face that makes us this way. We try really hard to fit in the COOL and AMAZING gang out there, but more often than not, kinda feel left out. We are also normal humans who really want a normal life… So please stop Name Calling Us, Adolescents or Grown-ups!

A little note for my Happily Healthy and Chubby Friends– 
No one has the right to put you down 
You can be loved only once you learn to accept who you are and love yourself back
You have all the right to WEAR anything you want 
Those Who stare at You, STARE BACK 😉 
Carry yourself confidently and no one has the courage to tell you anything 
If YOU want to lose weight, then do it the right way BY EXERCISING
There are no shortcuts in life and DO NOT fall for Bafoons/ Baboons who tell you there are! 

Last but not the least, Round is also a SHAPE and It’s High Time We accept that, as a SOCIETY!

Love to all my Fat and chubby friends from Your Fat and Chubby Friend 😀

Who’s To Blame???

Blame Blame Everywhere,
Not one person responsible
Politicians to common man
Blame game just goes on and on

An endless flight of words
A never-ending trail of actions
There is nothing more appalling
Than our beloved gutting us with reactions

We have come a million years since evolution
We still seem to not have evolved
We still ponder over bitter details
That were probably long forgotten or lost

We know how to bring a change in the society
We strive to not make any change somehow
We love to blame everything all on others
To see that a chance is what we get!

If you could change one thing in this world
What would that change be?
Would you change unreasonable behavior?
Or make everyone do your biding?
Would you take some time out to reflect
Or take it all lying down!

Would you begin the blame game again!
Or would you analyze and describe it!

No ones’ gained from all this strife
No ones’ survived evolution
The way we probably have
Let’s stop this blame game,
  take responsibility
  and move on!!
                                                                – Word Spell (Ankita)

Reluctantly Related: Mom-in-law v/s daughter-in-law

We have often come across this layman saying – God sent an angel in the form of a Mother and a devil in the form of a Mother-in-Law… I mean no offense to the latter set of parent however, there are times that this particular saying makes me wonder- why are we unbiased in so many ways to our mom-in-laws… For many of us the reasons are obvious – they are biased towards us, since we are daughter-in-laws.. But isn’t it vice versa because they are a mom-in-laws!!

A note to both sets- 
One side of the 1st coin- Mom-in-Laws/ MIL’s/ Mother-in-Laws whatever you are addressed as… Let me begin by telling you that you are a pillar of strength to our husbands and your sons. You are a pillar of strength to your husbands, daughters and the extended family in general. You are like a shining beacon in their lives who hails in the most superior form of God itself… Then why do you suddenly change sides on the arrival of a daughter-in-law!! Are they different human beings??? Do they have cruelty, son-snatching claws written all over their face!! I do not think so, but still why do they suddenly become that outsider who has invaded your so-called privacy?

A majority of the Indian population still gets married in an arranged set-up; that means that the daughter-in-laws are also chosen very precisely by you!! You are the ones who approve the new entrant in the family (literally) to ensure that you son is blessed with a good wife and a great life!! Then, why are you the one to cause all the strife in a relationship that is yet to bloom? Why do you become a Bindu from Ghar Ho Toh Aisa (for people outside India she was the most famous female in a negative role in Indian Movies) and torture the daughter-in-law who means nothing but good for You and her new found family.
I have come across many households (will not disclose any details about anyone) where the daughter in laws are mentally and emotionally tortured to leave very hard-hitting scars on their mind. They cannot leave the house nor can they stay in the house. Don’t you think, as mother-in-laws with daughters, you have a responsibility towards your daughter-in-law too!!

You have a daughter who has been married into another family and is probably blessed with very understanding mom-in-laws… You go all out and praise the family and how lucky your daughter is!! Why in this goddamn world can’t YOU do the same with your daughter-in-law! She has also entered your home with a certain expectation in mind from You and your son. She needs to be treated with equal respect that your daughter is being treated in another household. If your daughter is precious to You, your daughter-in-law is also precious to Her parents; they entrusted their daughter in your able hands for a reason. Understand This Basic Principle!!!!
Now I also know of women who give a lame excuse that I was tortured by my mom-in-law and hence I have become like this… Please listen to yourself, does it even make any sense? In that respect, you should offer more respite to your daughter-in-law and make sure she does not feel the same angst that you felt when you entered Your Husbands’ household! Although I realize this is a sensitive topic and probably a never ending one, there are few aspects that every mom-in-law Should pay attention too especially if you have a Daughter or just simply out of the sensibility that God bestowed upon You years ago…

Now the other side of the coin- Daughter-in-laws/ DIL’s/ Dot-in-law whatever you are addressed as… Let me now begin by saying you are great support to your own family, your kith and kin as well as the society at large. You are considered so generous and loving by all the family members and your friends, then why do you change when you get married! Has anyone give you a potion of notion that mom-in-laws are those evil-set of beings with their claws stretching as far as your neck!!! Just a point away from scratching it??? Probably that is the reason you behave the way you do…

I have also come across daughter-in-laws who are cribbers for no reason. Please understand that your mom-in-law is also a human being, they also have a life of their own that they have a right to live in all totality. You cannot have the cake and eat it too! Not always anyway! If you think they are made of stone, without any heart, you are mistaken too! You need to understand that
** If it is a big adjustment for you, it is a big adjustment for her too
** If they are going to adjust to your little nuances, you need to adjust to theirs too
** If you expect them to have patience while you settle in, You need to have patience with them too
** If you expect them to be in control of their emotions every time, You need to do this too
** If you think they need to steer a little away from your personal life, You need to include them in your lives to be able to do that
** If you expect great respect, Kindly learn to Respect them
Your husbands are their Sons and You need to keep this in mind always. Do not expect to waltz in the house and not care a shit what your mom-in-law thinks. (Trust me the Husband is also trying to balance it out and in many cases He simply leaves the feuds between the two of you.) It is for the best, since you both would deal with each other in your own way.
But do not in anyway treat your Mom-in-law like that punching bag since she is like your Mom too. If you expect your Bhabhi (Sister-in-law or wife of your brother) to treat your Mom well, You have equal responsibility towards your Own household.

Get the facts clear before proceeding…

Now another coin- We also have a great set of mom-in-laws who genuinely feel that their daughter-in-laws are absolutely amazing and vice versa. They give equal respect to the new entrants in the family and do not see them as a Threat to her or her Son. These are women who are pillars of strength to not only their kids but the daughter-in-law also, because of her sheer niceness of heart and genuine efforts to make this new relationship work. (I am blessed with one of these… ) They take interest in your lives, regard your work and life equally important as their kids and also go that extra mile to ensure you are comfortable. THEY have probably gone through a lot of strife in their relationship in their in-laws house or through the society for some reason or another. Their lessons taught them not to ever do that to anyone else, let alone their own daughter-in-laws. There may be a little (tiny-winy bit) bias between the kids and you but trust me it is as good as negligible since they will not really make you feel that…
God bless such souls!

A Parting note to the Sons / Husbands- 
** Take a stand where you need to
** Do not take any side without listening to the other completely
** Weigh both the arguments before out-rightly proclaiming that your Wife or Mom is at fault
** Do not act like those wussies who cannot go against the Mother just because she is your Mother
** If you have brought your wife home in your own home, learn to respect her wishes too
** You are the one that both parties rely on, please balance it out before proceeding

As you Sow, so shall you Reap… What you do, comes unto you someday… Life’s too Short to Mull Over Anger and Regret

stock-photo-happy-young-man-with-wife-and-mother-in-law-in-cafe-125020934
To all the Mom-in-Laws out there- Daughter-in-laws are not bad people…

To all the Daughter-in-Laws out there- Mom-in-laws are not bad people either…

(I may stir a little controversy with this article but please keep in mind this is my point of view and not being forced on any One individual at all)
(Pic “Reluctantly Related” courtesy: Google image by Dr. Deanna Brann of http://www.drdeannabran.com)

 

Hypocrisy of Life

I have grown up in a very liberal environment with loads of love and lot of freedom of thought as well as expression. Being the Only Child, I have always enjoyed a lot of attention (or to say absolute attention) of my parents in every way. There is a thin line between being pampered and over-pampered. I belonged to the first category, since my parents never really indulged in all my weird, out-of-the-box fantasies. (I actually thank them for that now… )

At that time I felt that I was probably being denied what was mine and that I should get whatever I wanted. It was only after a very long and meaningful journey that I realized that – I cannot get whatever I want ALWAYS and I have no Right over the Entire World. Sounds stupid right?? Yes, it is !!

This ‘meaningful’ journey actually became a reality once I got married and had my children.  (I am skipping my entire life’s journey here and may touch upon it a little later) I am a mom to 2 beautiful girls with around 5 years of age difference and I know that is the best thing to happen to me. I truly understand now what my MOM (and what majority of mothers all over the world tell their children) – You will understand the challenges of children only when you have yours. (#laugh)

Trust me I do!!!

I live in a place in India that is majorly haunted by the very dire need to produce or mass-produce #boys from the #womb. However stupid it may sound, but that is the factual reality. I can totally picture the women in many parts of the country that have to give up their first-born or their only child, in some cases, if it is a GIRL. A hard-hitting reality, I really do not understand the NEED for people to have BOYS only.
(Okay just to make it clear, I have an extremely supportive family and by family I mean hubby, his parents and my parents with all the extended family works, who have never felt the way rest of the country may feel)

I have often been literally plagued by questions such as “You have two daughters? Don’t you want a Son?”
A house help passing a comment telling – Only God knows in what HE has in store.. Its OK if you have 2 GIRLS, if you want try for a BOY… Why in the world would I want to try for a Goddamn BOY!!!???? Its absurd, yet quite funny that these women have been, or the majority of the country still lives in the cocoon of BOYS v/s GIRLS wonder!!!

Another gentleman at a particular store, back at my parents place, asks me- “You have 2 Girls? No Boys? You don’t want a boy is it!!! (Again Goddammit what is your problem! I am perfectly happy with my Babies!!!) I answered in all my politeness- ‘I think Girls are a wonder to have and I am lucky to be blessed with them.’ He very candidly said- You don’t have the thinking of a Rajasthani, that’s why you are saying this.’ (Rajasthan is a state in India where boys are given a LOT of weightage)

An older lady telling me that – I can try once more, maybe I will get a Boy!!!! Oh Lord that was actually the last straw… I simply smiled at her and turned my face away…

We are surrounded by hypocrites who think that having a boy is such an amazing thing for the family, with the legacy bullshit and everything… However, these are the VERY people who are born from a MOTHER’s WOMB and pray to the MOTHER of the WORLD, in the form of every Goddess, to Bless them with a SON. (I guess the mothers of the SONS should tell their SON to pass of a guaranteed sperm to yield them a BOY (**Laugh**)) That would be probably a better option than torturing a woman or daughter or daughter-in-law for not giving birth to one)

The #Hypocrisy of #Life lies in our hands and we solely have the Power to change it.

A Web Of Emotions

5325065-sad-girl-wallpapersI let my guard down, 
I let them all stand around
I put down my shield 
To give my tired body wings to breathe.

I try to break free
From the atrocities of this deft world 
It winds you up in its web of emotions
It brings you down with its clanging suctions.

There is so much I want to achieve
There is so much I would love to believe 
I want to break the barriers of this mundane world
I want to ring in my future with allure. 

Alas! I am caught in a vicious web of emotions
From which I fail to break free,
The endless journey has begun
To capture my thoughts and train them to be one! 

A web of unwanted emotions has captured me…. 

I came back to an empty home…

I came back to an empty home
A place that I once loved to come to 
I had a wife, I had a gorgeous child 
Eyes full of love, life was just a beautiful dream! 

A life full of hopes, 
A rainbow of emotions
To make my world spin 
A life to look forward to
A dream with many wings!! 

The day I lost you…
I lost everything I could dream of. 
I could have been a little careful 
I should have been a little chary 

I wish I can turn the table all around, 
But I know it would do Us no good… 
I feel you are still lingering around 
I still feel that your presence all around

I can still picture us together 
I wish we could go back to being together
But alas! Life is too short to spend in regret
I couldn’t see the signs, I shouldn’t have ignored our time…

I wish I can still come and get you
I wish I can enjoy our times together
I know it is too late
You have gone, leaving me behind… 

Today I come back to an empty home
One that we once fondly called Ours… 
I see my dimly lit hallway
That reminds me of my life today! 

“I wish I could love you today, the way I loved you Yesterday, to Make it last for eternally from today…”